The Juxtaposition of Life
It’s a strange juxtaposition to find oneself in. How can I seemingly be so happy and so content – content, yet hungry to keep going, when the world at large is seemingly turning to shit?
I was lying in bed the other night, at the end of another night of absolute mayhem.
My partner has been up through the night so much breastfeeding I don’t think she can accurately differentiate the times on when she should be asleep and awake. She’s tired, she’s grumpy, she’s run down and just recently it seems like she’s getting sick.
The 6-year-old has started prep and is loving it more than I could have possibly fathomed, but is starting to hit a bit of a wall which is understandable as his school was all gas, no brake. 5 days a week from the get go. By the time he gets home from school he is exhausted, and that can often lead to some…questionable…behaviour.
The 2-and-a-half-year-old has been crook as a dog, and getting him to day care is hard as fuck at the moment as he just wants to be with his brother, and doesn’t understand why now, after 18 months of getting dropped off together every day, he is suddenly flying solo. I’ve often commented that one day in the dictionary they will replace the definitions for stubborn and determination, and simply have a picture of this kid. He can be an absolute terror, won’t listen, or worse will listen and will just ignore you, and carry on doing what he sees fit to be doing, which is often riding his electric tractor buck naked around not only ours, but everyone’s lawns for all to see.
The 8-month-old is getting teeth, her brain is exploding with how much she is learning to do at the moment, which is mainly her pulling herself up and standing on anything in reach. If she was walking in 3 weeks, I wouldn’t be surprised.
All these factors in play whilst trying to get dinner into them, clean up the kitchen, pack the dishwasher, pack away toys, bathe all 3 kids, make sure the 6-year-old is doing his prep reader, and trying to get them all to go to sleep at a not ridiculous time.
Mayhem.
And yet there I was, lying there exhausted after all that, which was preceded by a 10-hour work day, and I could not have been happier.
My partner is the most loving mum I have met, the kids adore her and it’s because of the heart she has. She’s so caring and so empathetic, and fills so many of the holes I have in my personality. We would be royally fucked without her.
The 6-year-old is doing so well at prep. He’s making friends, he’s actively learning and teaching himself, retaining information, putting himself out there and I honestly could not be any prouder of him than I have been since he started this journey.
The 2-and-a-half-year-old is the most confident and independent child I have ever seen. There is literally nothing he doesn’t feel like he can’t do. Watching him navigate issues, being so impressed by him getting something right the first time is incredible. But watching him fail at something, and observing him immediately get back on the horse and repeat until he gets it right, is awe-inspiring.
The 8-month-old is my girl. She was an accident, we were a two and done household, but fuck me you couldn’t give me anything in this world to change that accident, not even a tanker of diesel. I always thought that the love a dad has for all his kids would be the same, but having a girl is a completely different beast. I am already angry at myself for how much I’m going to let her get away with.
We spent the better part of 3 years planning and building our forever family home which we couldn’t have planned better, on a block we fell in love with immediately, in a private court with 3 neighbours, all of whom are good people. Couple of prickly characters, but they don’t cause trouble. I go home every day and am constantly amazed at what we’ve been able to achieve, and the life we’re able to give our kids. They have land to run around on, diggers (both actual and toy) that they can mess around with, they have more monster trucks than I knew were possible to manufacture. They watch TV, they jump on the trampoline, they ride their tractors around, the house is big enough to ride scooters inside and play little basketball and soccer. Everything about it I love so much, and am so happy about.
Enter – juxtaposition.
I’m partially aware of what is going on. I actively avoid the news because I feel it is a drain on mental health when all the focus is on negativity. This war is an absolute fucking joke. Two egotistical fucktards who can’t comprehend somehow that they are fucking up everyone who they’re meant to be representing, for no real apparent reason. That could be my opinion, or...you know…I could just listen to the US Military leader who resigned for that exact reason.
Piling on this kind of pressure, on families who are already at breaking point, is honestly heart breaking to see. And it’s clear that even if this war ended tomorrow, guess what, those prices aren’t going back down to what they were. They may come down, but $1.90 for diesel? No chance. It will just be the new norm where corporations see these short-term profits, like what they see, and claim it can’t go back to what it was. Again, that could be my opinion, or…you know…look at when this happened 5 years ago during COVID.
The housing market is fucking cooked and I feel for the younger generation and their chances to succeed through real estate. Even the people who aren’t wealthy, but are in a good position, odds are they leveraged real estate for that comfort. Jump in the market, watch your price appreciate, use that collateral to take a risk or two, or even sell high. The future for the kids to be doing that (without help from the bank of mum and dad) isn’t dim, it’s pitch fucking black.
Australia as a whole fumbled the bag out of sight with how much we’ve cooked our national resources, and sold them off to foreign investors. We should be a powerhouse of the world, instead we find ourselves nibbling at the teat of China and the US, walking a tightrope so thin, hoping neither asks us to pick one over the other, and having them drop us like a hot potato, hot potato cue Wiggles dance. We have a Swiss cheese system (lotta holes) that means that the people leading are ultimately spineless mouths for the party as a collective. It’s not leadership, it’s a puppet. 3-year elections, easy as fuck spill motions, internal fighting. It all just results in the person getting in charge to try and stay afloat long enough to lock in that pension, and those board seats post political life.
It’s a joke, and the polls reflect that. Unfortunately, with the duopoly of the current arrangement, despite the fact they oppose each other, you know Labor and Liberal are very quick to work together to ensure minority parties can’t rise to a level where they can challenge the big two, case in point being the current donation rules, which is so far beyond comprehension you would think it wasn’t possible.
Victoria would be in the running for the corruption capital of the 1st world with all the CFMEU bullshit that obviously went down. And they can’t deny it, because everyone knew it was going down. When the 60 Minutes “expose” came out, not one person I spoke to was shocked.
Labor, and not just Labor, but all of these so-called leaders of ours, fucked up the nation so badly, that they’re introducing new tax after new tax to try and stay afloat, without addressing issues of actual Government overspending that could be the root cause of the issue. At a most basic level, I feel like it’s clear how broke the state is by the amount of mobile speed cameras on the road. Don’t give me that road safety bullshit, that shit is revenue raising 101.
And somehow, despite all this, I’m still happy with my slice of paradise.
It’s hard to gauge how to be so happy with what you have, when you feel for your common man and how hard everything is.
There will be a reckoning of some sort soon…I just hope it doesn’t take away my joy, my partner’s joy, or the joy that I see on our kids faces daily.